The Walk of Faith

This summer, I am reading through Steve Shadrach's The God Ask and working through the support development devotional in the back of the book. It's only Day One, and God is already pressing His finger down on parts of my character that He wants to work on. He's persistent, that's for sure.

Today, the devotional asked, "What uncertainties do you have? Ask God to guide you over these perceived obstacles."

Uncertainties? Uh... yes! Oh boy, Steve, you unleashed the beast with this one.

But first, don't get me wrong, I believe that support development is biblical, and that it is a ministry that God has called me to in addition to the campus. I have seen God work so much in and through my partners. I have seen incredible stories of people giving sacrificially, and God using my story to inspire others. I love praying for them and sharing what God is doing in my ministry so that they too can pray. I wouldn't give up support development for a salary. I would only do so if God called me to do something else.

But I still have worries. I still fear the unknown. I still struggle believing that I can live this way for the long haul. I fear that 100% will always be elusive, that support will be a battle to fight for the rest of my life. And to be honest, I'm tired. I want this to be easy. I want to be comfortable. I want to live in peace, not fight a war.

After pouring out my worries before the Lord in my journal (I wrote quite a bit more, but I'll spare you the details!), I read the Scripture that went along with the devotional:

"...for we walk by faith not by sight..."

(2 Corinthians 5:7)

That's it. Just eight words to combat my long list of worries. Just one abnormally short verse to address the diverse spectrum of my uncertainties. That's it, God? Really?

He responded to me first with silence. But I could practically see the raised eyebrow and knowing look on His face. That look spoke volumes.

Yes, really, Madison.

Ok, so you're saying, trust You, and lean not on my own understanding. Trust You in all that I do, and You will be faithful. But, to be honest, this truth feels superficial in comparison to the deep uncertainties I am carrying. Yes, that's all fine and dandy, God, but this life is hard. Being sustained by support is hard. Living like this for a long time is going to be hard. I can live by faith for a season, but eventually, I want to move on to the comfortable life. Eventually, I want security. Eventually, I want to "make it." Eventually, I want my walk with You to be easy.

I heard Him laugh softly.

I did not say faith was easy, my daughter. It is hard to be sure, but I have called you to live by it. Not just now, not just in support, but for the rest of your life.

At first, this was not comforting. For the rest of my life? That's a hard pill to swallow.

But the wheels in my head started turning. God knows that it is hard to walk a path that I cannot see. He is not a distant Father, expecting me to easily stroll though the obstacles of this life without fear, worry, or doubt. He came to this world Himself, and He carried the same burdens that weigh me down. God's soft whisper silenced the roar of my fears: I know that it's hard. I've walked that path. And now, I am walking it with you.

Before Jesus sent the disciples out, He warned them of the troubles they will face. People will deliver you before the courts, flog you, and drag you before the rulers to bear witness to My Name. You will be betrayed by your closest friends and family, and you will be persecuted and put to death. The people hated Me, so also will you be hated by all because of Me. But, "the one who endures until the end will be saved" (Matthew 10:22b).

We carry that same legacy as Christians. If we claim to follow Christ, then we can expect these same things, these hard things. We can expect to be hated, persecuted, beaten, betrayed, and even put to death. As a result of our hardships, others will tell us to "curse God and die," just as they told Job. The trials and the voices will tempt us to doubt God's goodness and faithfulness. They will tempt us to doubt that He loves us.

With these temptations, each step becomes heavy. Each step is blind to what it might encounter. Each step forward is countered by a thousand thoughts screaming to turn back. With each step forward, you wonder, will this be the last one? Is the end near? But then you take another. And another. And then you start to realize, there is no end. There are always more steps.

But the one who endures until the end will be saved.

You see, faith is a journey, not a one-time experience. It is a manner of traveling, not a season of life. It is like breathing - you don't have a choice. You must exercise it. If you chose to follow Christ, this is the life you chose for yourself. A life of uncertainties. A life of unseen paths. A life of trials. A life of difficulties. But at the end of it all, it is a life that says in every circumstance, good or bad, "Jesus, I trust You."

Saving faith is sustained faith. It doesn't end when you choose to accept Christ at the moment you first believed. God will always give you more steps to take. There is no arriving. There is no end in this life. You can expect to walk by faith until the day you die or the day Christ returns. You must learn to endure until the end.

So, embrace the journey. The best stories are the ones with the greatest trials, the most impossible circumstances, the most profound changes in character. God is the Author of Life. He is writing the greatest story ever told, and He has chosen you to be a part of it. But just as characters in great stories must journey through dark paths, you too can be confident that your walk will not be easy.

God will not allow you to be comfortable. He will not allow you to squander your life with easy living. He will not let you settle for playing in the mud when He was prepared paradise for you. He has much too great of a story to tell, and He has much too glorious of a work to accomplish in you. Don't be scared. The path God has set before you is indeed too much for you to handle, but He will carry you each step of the way.

For me, in this season, this means that I will endure in my support development. There is no guarantee of stability. There is no guarantee that I will stay at 100% support without a hiccup. There is no guarantee that this potentially lifelong journey of raising support will be easy. In fact, I can expect it to be hard.

But  I will continue the two-thousand-year legacy of living by faith that has been passed down to me by my brothers and sisters in Christ. I will continue to take the heavy steps of faith, knowing that God carries me and that He understands the weight of this life. I will press on each day, trudging along, knowing that each step forward means that I am but one closer to my ultimate goal: eternity with my Savior.

For that, I will endure.

Blessings,

Maddie