Wait

There is a way that seems right to man, but its end is the way of death.

Proverbs 14:12

Waiting is hard, especially when you see God moving around you in powerful ways. Why wouldn't you want to jump headfirst into something that has God's hand written all over it? Ministry excites us. Changed lives move us. God's work brings us joy. It's His way of building our faith and willing our hearts to love Him more.

Changed lives are the essence of stories, and each one of us has an untold story in our hearts dying to be told. Every time we hear a story, it inspires us to want to be a part of the next one, whether it be as the protagonist or as a minor character.

The truth is this: we want our lives to be incredible stories, stories that are worth being told, stories that are written by the King of the universe.

Last night, our ministry did nearly a whole semester's worth of planning. We planned our events for the beginning of the school year, our small group locations, our roles, all of it. God is orchestrating all of the details to fall into place perfectly despite our shortcomings.

God has a big plan for our campus this year, and He has blessed each one of us to be a part of it. He is in the process of writing a story of legends. A huge battle is going to be fought at our campus this year, and God is going to be the victor.

Even so, I am struggling. Exciting things are happening all around me, but God's answer to me is to wait.

"I want to help lead a bible study."

Wait.

"Can I help at that event?"

Wait.

"What about this idea...?"

Wait.

God's role for me in this story is not as a major character. I don't even think it's even as a minor character. No, I think God is asking me to do something difficult and to simply be the reader, the spectator, the bystander. He simply wants me to watch the story unfold in front of my eyes.

This is hard.

It is taking every ounce of my willpower to not write myself into this story. I desperately want to take the pen out of my Father's hand to write my name on the pages of this story. I want to be a part of it because I know it's going to be a great one.

But God is right, of course. This battle is not mine to fight. This story is not mine. I have a bigger battle waiting for me on the horizon, a huge mountain looming in the distance.

It's name is support raising.

As a missionary, I am required to raise my own salary. This didn't sound so appealing to me when I first heard it, but I have accepted it and even grown to be excited about it. I know this is simply the way that God has chosen to provide for me, just as He would provide for someone who is paid hourly or is salaried.

It is going to be a hard process, but I know there is going to be much fruit in it. It's going to build my faith tremendously because I am going to have to trust God completely to provide for everything. I am not guaranteed anything, and I have to make steps of obedience in response to God's leading. But it's going to be a worthwhile pursuit, and I know my God will come through for me.

It is tempting to want to jump into the more "exciting" story. The story where souls are being fought for and won. The story where God is sweeping across an entire population causing revival to happen. The story that is so great that we, as imperfect beings, can't take credit for it. All the glory has to go to God.

But this is not my story. At least, not yet.

It is my job this semester to walk with God to discover my partners in ministry. The people who are not only going to give to me financially, but also who are going to pray for me and come along beside me in my work. It is the foundation He wants to build in my life before He is ready to use me for other things. And I owe it to Him to be obedient and devote myself completely to this story before I launch myself into another one.

Although this story doesn't have nearly as much action or drama, it is still God's story. And God, being a perfect Author, cannot write a bad story. It is still His perfect will in all circumstances.

So for now, I am going to heed God's call and wait. I am going to be the spectator of a grand tale this semester, but I am so blessed that God is still allowing me watch it happen. You don't always have to be a part of the story for it to be exciting. Sometimes watching it is just as much of a blessing as being in it.

My story this semester is different, but it will still be a battle. It's not the story I was expecting to be a part of, but it will be a grand story all the same. It is still His story after all.

So, support raising, all I have to say to you is this:

Bring it.

I have my God with me. And that is all I need. He is more than enough, and He is always victorious.



Blessings,

Maddie